Resume Robots – Eating Your Brains?

Resume Robots – Eating Your Brains?

Thanks for being with me today, unless you’re one of those robot computers scanning this before it reaches humans!

Science fiction films often rely on terrifying concepts such as global robot domination, brain-eating zombies and corporations that get suckered into processes whence good turns to evil. That’s right, I said “whence”.

Dear readers: it is happening. It is happening right now…to your resume.
Corporations like Monster, Hotjobs, and Career Builder have partnerships with “application tracking system” (ATS) software providers to provide a central location database for a company’s recruitment efforts.

“Oh, no need to worry, we’re here to help make things EASIER on you, Human Resource managers!”

Sounds good until you realize an ATS not only does data mining and collection of applications, but automates the recruitment process on behalf of HUMAN BEINGS. Yes, it puts other humans out of a job so computers can place their “selected humans” into available jobs. Remember: “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”?

By now you may be wondering, “Where on Earth could a robot invasion like this originate? Who would have allowed it??”

Ladies and gentlemen…you need to read this excerpt to see for yourselves:

Minneapolis, MN – Cognizo Technologies has announced the first public source code release. CATS is the HR/Staffing/Recruiting industry’s first and only open source, enterprise class, web based ATS package. Built using the LAMP platform and open source design methodologies, CATS is on a fast track to rival the best proprietary ATS offerings in the marketplace.

NO!! ARrggghhhh, choke, gasp: SYSTEM ERROR 404: Minneapolis Syntax Quasimodo:

From humble beginnings in Minneapolis to companies like AIRS Oxygen who promote “Our software sorts through 2 billion Web pages in less than 10 seconds. We HARVEST merged, purged, and de-duped results. Then we save them to your disk or send them to your ATS (bypassing humans…completely).
There is even a company called, “”, a search engine for resumes. Candidates “spider” resume web pages off the internet, locating resumes from newsgroup postings and access free resume databanks. Can that be good?

1) Don’t get too fancy. Robots like things simple: No fancy-schmantsy fonts or junk characters.

2) If you use a logo on your letterhead, write the words near it. Robots don’t read logos.

3) Keep your resume title SIMPLE: Bob Smith – Professional writing manager.

4) Create keywords. What words did the employer use in the job description? Are those SAME words in your resume? You NEED to customize your resume for every position you apply to…it’s like LAY’S potato chips: No one should have just one.

5) Don’t get “too” technical: Use some common terms like: Managerial, Professional, Reliable, Punctual, Accountable, and Dill Pickle.

6) Review it before you send it. Your attached PDF file, DOCX, or XYZz, file may work on your system, but the employer’s database might use Microsoft Word 2003. They probably won’t ask you to resend your resume. They’ll simply allow the computer to EAT IT.

7) Get a name, when possible, make a phone call and/or connect to them on a social network site. In other words…MAKE HUMAN CONTACT.

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